When you’re in a committed relationship together, it’s natural to have a greater expectation of involvement in your partner’s life.After all, you’re a team; what they do materially affects too and vice versa. It’s understandable that you’re going to be one of the highest priorities in their lives, that they’re going to put their relationship with you (and yours with them) ahead of others.Some people are totally cool with hearing everything – size, shape, smell, frequency, etc.Others are fine with acknowledging that their former squeeze is seeing other people but would really rather just assume that their genitalia withered and fell off and they’re now as sexless as a Barbie doll.It takes time to relearn how to be on your own again, and the longer you were with them, the longer it’s going to take. Plus, getting over your ex helps avoid the annoying “reconnecting because you want to bang, not be friends” two-step.You need to discover who you are now and how you’ve changed and grown. You need to let that pain out so you can let it go and it’s going to be almost impossible to do this while they’re still so present in your life. Lock down your social media and phone so that you’re not tempted to pick at those scabs. One of the most difficult parts of building and maintaining a friendship after you’ve broken up is adjusting to the difference in intimacy.It’s worth noting: how you feel when you first try to be friends may not be how you feel the further you get from your break-up.Be willing to revisit how you’re feeling and where you’re drawing those lines as time goes by. One of the hardest gaps to bridge after a break-up is accepting that the way you relate to a friend, even a very close friend, is different from how you relate to a lover.
You may be tight with one another, but you don’t have the same kind of relationship that you did before.Some don’t care about witnessing ex’s displays of affection with their new snugglebunny and for others, it’s pure unadulterated nightmare fuel.This goes both ways, by the way; just because you’re totally fine with knowing everything (and everyone) your ex gets up to doesn’t mean that they’re going to feel the same way about you.One of the things that people tend to forget – especially in a long-term relationship – is that you develop new habits and routines that center around having your ex in your life.Regardless of whether you lived together or lived apart, you will have into certain patterns that are dependent on working in tandem with another person. It’s easier and healthier to start a friendship when you’ve had the time and and distance to get some perspective on your old relationship.