I think you are trying to show how thoughtful and empathetic you are being, but what’s coming across is so, very, very, very condescending.
She is the lead in her own story, not a character in yours. There is no need to magnanimously proclaim your “openness” to “sharing your life” with her or overdo it on reassuring us or her about how “wonderful” and “brave” she is or give us your “interesting”, university-educated resume & hobbies vs.
That day, I didn’t need to know all of his thoughts and feelings about me or how hard he struggled with his decision or the ways I fell short, I just needed to know the important stuff like, “I’m not interested in being a crutch and I can’t save her from a boring life.
Although she’s my age (19), I don’t think she’s at the point where I can tell her this without grievously wounding her undeveloped ego, especially given how she admires me.” …is a real record-scratch for me.
If her interest wasn’t obvious enough, as I walked out the door for the final time, her question was whether I had a girlfriend.
I told her no, and to my amusement, her reply was that she’d text me.
I’m looking for a healthy relationship where our worlds don’t revolve around each other, but where we know there’s respite in each other’s company.That means, if she texts back how she wants to just hang as friends, say, “” but don’t accept the offer and don’t keep texting back and forth with her or planning “friendly” hangouts.If you are meant to be friends someday, it will be because common interests and acquaintances bring you into each other’s orbit. I know this advice is coming with a whopping helping of “ but please know that there is love, here, too, for you, and for my younger self, and for my ex, President Earnest B. Dear “Casting”, I’m glad you wrote to me before talking to this lady because you should not ever say the thing about how you’re “casting a female lead for your story” in a breakup conversation unless you want to be made fun of for decades, like the guy in college who told me that I wasn’t quite “First Lady Material*” after a private tour of the White House with his bigwig donor family, less than a month into dating him, on Valentine’s Day.He was and is a sweet man (and is happy as a clam with the First Lady of His Heart these days, as far as I know) but neither Twitter nor I will never forget his very earnest, deadly serious, incredibly detailed description of my lack of qualifications for a post I neither wanted nor knew I was running for.